busy, busy, busy. no time to write for a while. nasty dog is having a bad day, trotting around the house making hacking noises and leaving little piles of puke for me to clean up. the kid is asleep because she must sleep during the day and then not go to bed at night until 1am, 3 on weekends. why? because she doesn't want me to get laid, that’s why.

the highlight of my week so far was watching the anna nicole show at tacey's house. this was absolutely amazing. it's a walking freak show! anna nicole is constantly accompanied by an entourage that includes her lawyer, her purple-haired assistant complete with an anna nicole tattoo on her arm, and a scraggy little mutt called sugar pie. why one needs a lawyer with them constantly is beyond me. viewers get to watch as the bovine anna nicole eats and then tries to squeeze her ass into places it won't fit including, but not limited to, jeans, bathtubs, and the space between two table legs. this woman, who is perpetually stoned, humps the beds in potential rental homes and then complains about not being able to afford $4000 a month in rent. what a pity. other gauntlets in the torturous existence she passes off as a life include getting her hair and makeup done and wearing expensive evening gowns. say it isn't so, anna! true to her white trash roots, anna nicole rushes home from her hollywood party to catch "jerry" at eleven, but not before she calls her 16-year-old son and talks baby talk to him. "what did pooky bear eat for dinner?" someone get me a gun. classic moments of the show include a scene where anna makes eye contact with the camera and whispers that she's having a bad day because she didn't get to masturbate that morning. the show is touted as completely non-educational, but i beg to differ. i learned that one, anna nicole is a lesbian: in one scene she complains about not getting laid in years and the camera jumps to her slightly pissed off assistant (the one with the anna nicole tattoo, remember?) rolling her eyes. do i sense a lover's spat here ladies? and two, anna nicole is the anti-christ: when her lawyer tries to explain what a palestinian suicide bomber is to a baffled anna nicole that has never heard of the isreali-palistinian conflict, her eyes began to move back and forth across her head in a manner that only the possessed possess.

so, my final thought on this monstrosity? play on you large, ditzy, evil-incarnate. i'll sure as hell be there next week.

for the love of god, sign my guestbook!